So I was browsing the net and came across an article that said kids are now getting high by rubbing toothpaste on their nipples…. WHAT?? REALLY?? Who thinks of this crap? Ok so when I first read this I was like, " what an idiot…. Believing everything you hear on the Internet". but I have to admit after a little thought and hesitation, I slowly walked to the bathroom, opened up the cabinet and squeezed toothpaste on my nipples. I put half a tube on each nipple. It dried and become a crust on my nipples and surrounding skin.
I had to try it, I couldn’t help myself. My wife walked in on me. She screamed. So I made her put her toothpaste on her nipples too. It also crusted over. 10 minutes later we were triiiiiipin like mad crazy. Then it came to me… How high would we get if we used MORE tooth paste? So…. We went to the store and bought A LOT of it. We stripped naked and covered our genitalia with extra strength cavity protection tooth paste. Then we put extra whitening toothpaste in our butt holes and in our hair.
We found some breath freshening toothpaste and covered our bodies with a thin layer. We weren’t really getting the high we were looking for so we found some dental floss and wrapped our toes and fingers in it. To achieve the orgasm of highness we found some mouth wash and poured it in our eyes. After several minutes of this fluoride induced insanity, it was complete. We had done it. We were there standing in our bathroom covered in toothpaste, dental floss and mouthwash.
My wife looked down and smiled. I had myself a toothpaste erection. Although we were blinded from the mouthwash and our fingers and toes lost feeling from the dental floss and our skin began to burn and peel from the toothpaste and our bowels were leaking from the toothpaste enema we made some sweet, fresh, smell good sex. Now that I think about. I don’t think we ever got "high" from the toothpaste,
I’m betting it was from the cocaine and LSD.
-Random post on the interwebz
Just like putting Bengay on your ballsack feels good right
😉
Just like putting Bengay on your ballsack feels good right
Don’t knock it til ya try it (did I say that out loud?)😉
Sail and grow
Deep inside
The brave align
Green we stay
-Boss Keloid Lung Valley
:rollingonasslaughing: :thumbup: :goodpost
Lmao…funny shit..
NEW PRODUCT MAD HATTER 8X MINT FLAVOR NIPPLE RUB
NOT FOR HUMAN UMM TICKLING????
ORDER MADE! :boobs:
NEVER GET BENGAY UP YOUR PEE HOLE! NEVER!!!
Omg the memories
:rollingonasslaughing: :rollingonasslaughing: :rollingonasslaughing: :rollingonasslaughing: :rollingonasslaughing: :rollingonasslaughing:
Now this is a funny damn thread! Thanks for the laugh, and good thing I didn’t see this in the morning whilst drinking my coffee.
Happy Friday, Planet Xers!
NEW PRODUCT MAD HATTER 8X MINT FLAVOR NIPPLE RUB
NOT FOR HUMAN UMM TICKLING????
ORDER MADE! :boobs:
Best.tagline.ever,
Ever had a bad batch? ORDER RETURNED! :biggrin
Life is The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed
So I was browsing the net and came across an article that said kids are now getting high by rubbing toothpaste on their nipples…. WHAT?? REALLY?? Who thinks of this crap? Ok so when I first read this I was like, " what an idiot…. Believing everything you hear on the Internet". but I have to admit after a little thought and hesitation, I slowly walked to the bathroom, opened up the cabinet and squeezed toothpaste on my nipples. I put half a tube on each nipple. It dried and become a crust on my nipples and surrounding skin.
I had to try it, I couldn’t help myself. My wife walked in on me. She screamed. So I made her put her toothpaste on her nipples too. It also crusted over. 10 minutes later we were triiiiiipin like mad crazy. Then it came to me… How high would we get if we used MORE tooth paste? So…. We went to the store and bought A LOT of it. We stripped naked and covered our genitalia with extra strength cavity protection tooth paste. Then we put extra whitening toothpaste in our butt holes and in our hair.
We found some breath freshening toothpaste and covered our bodies with a thin layer. We weren’t really getting the high we were looking for so we found some dental floss and wrapped our toes and fingers in it. To achieve the orgasm of highness we found some mouth wash and poured it in our eyes. After several minutes of this fluoride induced insanity, it was complete. We had done it. We were there standing in our bathroom covered in toothpaste, dental floss and mouthwash.
My wife looked down and smiled. I had myself a toothpaste erection. Although we were blinded from the mouthwash and our fingers and toes lost feeling from the dental floss and our skin began to burn and peel from the toothpaste and our bowels were leaking from the toothpaste enema we made some sweet, fresh, smell good sex. Now that I think about. I don’t think we ever got "high" from the toothpaste,
I’m betting it was from the cocaine and LSD.
-Random post on the interwebz
holy fuckin shit that was the funniest shit I read in a long time . LMFAO. :banana:
It feels good to be running from the devil
Another breath and I'm up another level
It feels good to be up above the clouds
It feels good for the first time in a long time now
😆 :rollingonasslaughing:
Yeah, so I’m working out at the gym… and I see a damn news story about the DANGERS of kids snorting Smarties candy… and how it should be taken off the market. Wow… seriously?!?!
… I mean hell, you get a better buzz off Pixie Sticks… ESPECIALLY those really fucking big ones. Almost got run down by a psychopath because of my Pixie addiction. We were all hopped up, walking through a field to a grocery store… and my pal jumped on my back. We were snorting the giant ones that day… I had grape. So here I am, all purple nostrilled, a fellow fat guy on my back, and I scream out jokingly, "Help help! An ELEPHANT is raping me!" 2 minutes later a psycho with a shotgun almost runs us over demanding where our rape victim was. We all scattered, save for the slowest and dumbest of our crew… who showed up 20 minutes later at our meeting place demanding we go back with him and explain to the cops. (Which was interesting, as the guy who almost ran us down was drunk, and only after us because his daughter got attacked in those woods. Don’t think the cops even arrested his stupid ass… threatening a group of middle schoolers with a shotty like that)
(And I shit you not, that’s a true story. Lol)