6:05 PM – 1mg blotter placed between bottom lip and gum. I’m slightly anxious, as normal, but I meditated for roughly 30 minutes beforehand and I have plenty of water next to me to keep me hydrated. I also have back-up plans in case things take a wrong turn. I turn on Aphex Twin’s "Selected Ambient Works 85-92" to put me in high spirits as it was the album I listened to once on a similar dose of 25C. Good memories.

6:20 PM – Trying to hold the spit in my mouth as long as possible, and I occasionally swish the spit around my mouth.

6:35 PM – Blotter chewed and swallowed, and at this point the come up started. So I quickly laid down in my bad and sat up straight to meditate while I came up. I kind of wanted to try and meditate for most of the experience, but I ended up being way too stimulated but in a way exhausted to sit still.

6:55 PM – I was a lot more inebriated than I had been 10 minutes previously so it was starting to really come on, and I would occasionally check the window when a car drove by. Looking outside was beautiful and started to look very vibrant and fluid-like, even though it was dark by this time the street lamp by my house lit up the street. I remember trying to mostly try and make myself sit still and meditate in the dark, I was starting to tremor partly because my room is cold as fuck and I assume also partly because of the 25c.

7-8PM – For most of the come up and when I started peaking I mostly just sat in my bed in amazement (I actually did this most of the time) not being able to sit still despite trying to meditate. At this point it’s hard to explain what I was realizing, it’s one of those things you can conceive of but is pretty difficult to articulate. It was like a lot of the information I’ve gained recently has come together and "conected the dots" basically. I was slightly paranoid during this period but it didn’t really bother me all that much, as I knew I was fine.

8-10 PM – I only checked the clock a few times after 7 PM as time didn’t really mean shit. I remember seeing colors moving around on the walls in the dark in my room. It was almost like I was looking into eternity everywhere I looked and I was seeing phosphenes. I definitely had ego death, and I was going through a very weird and extremely personal but also somehow what felt like a universal experience. During most of this time it was kind of difficult for me to walk and the nausea didn’t help, though it wasn’t too bad, but I just decided to lay down. I definitely realized a lot of things about myself and came to terms with things I was struggling with that I realized on my last trip.

10-11 PM – I had wished I had some weed to smoke for this trip, especially for the come down, but unfortunately didn’t at the time. 1 mg was definitely a pretty strong dose though. I had been in an ecstatic state for 3-4 hours, and was still so; but I eventually decided to go outside after looking out of my window again and seeing how absolutely beautiful it was. So I went outside and only stood in my doorway because it was raining and pretty cold; though I would have loved to walk around. Everything was very fluid like, and very… alive. I remember looking at the moon while clouds it were passing by it, it looked pretty trippy. I also remember thinking about how ridiculous everything I get frustrated about really is and that I should remind myself more to not take anything too seriously.

12-3 AM – Even though the trip felt like forever, as I was starting to come down I wanted it to last longer which kind of sucked. I ended up listening to a Terence Mckenna lecture, ate some food, and later took a shower after I was pretty much mostly come down except I couldn’t fall asleep.

This trip has definitely changed my attitude and perspective on life, and also motivated me to do things that I want to achieve. This chemical has helped me start to overcome my depression in the past, and I believe this trip did too. I found it pretty introspective and enlightening, and is definitely one of my favorite substances.