So I was browsing the net and came across an article that said kids are now getting high by rubbing toothpaste on their nipples…. WHAT?? REALLY?? Who thinks of this crap? Ok so when I first read this I was like, " what an idiot…. Believing everything you hear on the Internet". but I have to admit after a little thought and hesitation, I slowly walked to the bathroom, opened up the cabinet and squeezed toothpaste on my nipples. I put half a tube on each nipple. It dried and become a crust on my nipples and surrounding skin.

I had to try it, I couldn’t help myself. My wife walked in on me. She screamed. So I made her put her toothpaste on her nipples too. It also crusted over. 10 minutes later we were triiiiiipin like mad crazy. Then it came to me… How high would we get if we used MORE tooth paste? So…. We went to the store and bought A LOT of it. We stripped naked and covered our genitalia with extra strength cavity protection tooth paste. Then we put extra whitening toothpaste in our butt holes and in our hair.

We found some breath freshening toothpaste and covered our bodies with a thin layer. We weren’t really getting the high we were looking for so we found some dental floss and wrapped our toes and fingers in it. To achieve the orgasm of highness we found some mouth wash and poured it in our eyes. After several minutes of this fluoride induced insanity, it was complete. We had done it. We were there standing in our bathroom covered in toothpaste, dental floss and mouthwash.

My wife looked down and smiled. I had myself a toothpaste erection. Although we were blinded from the mouthwash and our fingers and toes lost feeling from the dental floss and our skin began to burn and peel from the toothpaste and our bowels were leaking from the toothpaste enema we made some sweet, fresh, smell good sex. Now that I think about. I don’t think we ever got "high" from the toothpaste,

I’m betting it was from the cocaine and LSD.
-Random post on the interwebz