Looks like many of you I have the distinct honor of preacquaintaince.  To all a’ youze: howdy! :searching in vain for a wavy gif:

To the rest, a humble introduction.  My s/n is "Evilgenius" in it’s many iterations, "EG" works well colloquially.  I may or may not have a neighbor who has a cat who once quoted Elvis as saying that I might have some experience relevant to these matters which may be worth sharing.

I might also add that the feline in question is a known philanderer and spawner of litters of questionable fatherhood, though this may have nothing to do with the matter at hand and should not color your perception of the ensuing events in any manner.

In short, "Greetings, mortals"! :sweeping bow: