Hey guys,

I need some advice.  Last year, I became fast friends with this girl at work, Vanessa.  She had recently moved to my town to be at our work’s headquarters.  She’s bright, outgoing, bubbly, loves to have fun, do stuff, hang out, whatever, we laugh all the time.  Everything’s great- total mutual (platonic!) girl crush in that we are like life-long besties after a month.

Then… Vanessa starts dating this guy at work, Dan. I am totally against fishing off the company pier, but she’s an adult and it’s none of my business.  Their relationship is *drama.*  And lots of it.  Break up, get back together, fight, makeup, breakup, try again, ect.  They are both in the mid 30’s and act like they are in high school in romantic relationships.  I am the good friend, listening, comforting her, saying he’s an ass when it’s appropriate, ect. 

Well he finally goes too far, says he’s been faking their relationship for the past 2 weeks and doesn’t want to be with her.  I held her while she cried, and she told me that he was *such* a jerk, and that he told her he never liked me to begin with, and was only friendly with me so that I would invite him to my friend’s epic karaoke parties.  Which I did do, as a favor to Vanessa b/c Dan liked karaoke so much, and I wanted to show that I was supportive and could be nice to her boyfriend even though I didn’t care for him much. 

So she’s so crushed after this breakup that she flies home to Texas for a month to be with her family and close friends and work out of the satellite office.  I told her before I dropped her at the airport that I would miss her, she was better off without him, and to stay strong.  I also told her that if something happened, and he wanted to get back together, that I couldn’t be supportive of it because he was treating her badly and she deserved way, way better, not to mention he was saying really bad things about me behind my back.  I couldn’t be friends with someone who dated a guy who hated me and said bad things about me.  She said she understood and that wasn’t going to happen.

Well, lo and behold, she comes back from Texas and they are back together, so I stopped being friends with her. Just like that, cut her out of my life.  It was a tearful goodbye, but I figured it was the best for both of us.  It was hard – I mean we connected so fast, I haven’t done that with many people in my life, and I’m still very close to all of them.  I choose quality over quantity.  You’ve gotta be high on my friend list for me to spend any time with you.  That sounds snobby, but I swear it isn’t.  I just don’t waste time on fringe relationships.

So Vaness and I "broke up" like 5 or 6 months ago.  I went through a mourning phase, wanted to call a million times but didn’t, and finally got over it.  Then, last week, she sent me this email, titled "missing you":

******
I’m not sending this email in order to try to convince you to be friends with me again. I fear that too much damage was done to ever make that possible.
I just wanted to share with you that I often look back on our times together and am really appreciative of what we had. The sucky end was incredible painful, but the good times were amazing and overall I really enjoyed the memories I made with you (and Robert).  Even opening my bathroom drawer every morning reminds me of how excited you were (with me) that I had DRAWERS!