Hello all my friends out there in Planet X land!  Sorry I have been absent for a few months here, I have been going through quite a few changes in my life.  Please allow me to explain.  The first big thing that has changed is my getting a better paying position at work.  In order to take the job I had to change stores and now I work 60 miles from where I live.  This is quite the commute (120 a day?!) but I do get paid well enough to where it makes sense.  I am also working my way towards leadership and building more and more even if it is at a tough spot right now.  I will keep working at it, it is FINALLY paying off.  I get treated way better where I work now also which is key especially given what I am about to tell everyone.  Here goes….so  I finally came out to most everyone about my gender identity and who I really am.  After nearly 32 years of suffering and dysphoria I told those who were close to me that Jeremy is but an act.  I am really Leslie!  I have been branching out slowly and filling everyone in.  Believe me, just aadmitting something like this is a horrifying experience because you really have no idea who you will lose in the transition.  Thankfully I have only lost a few friends and that is it.  I have been going to therapy (which costs a small fortune as it is so tough to find a knowledgable therapist that also takes my insurance)  and on 7/15 I actually start hormone replacement therapy.  That is a huge step for me and something I have always wanted but was so afraid to actually go through with.  I was so afraid of losing everything.  All of this is costing me a small fortune and I am sure when all is said and done it will be @ $50k+.  I should be able to get some procedures covered by insurance which will help.  In terms of substances I have been turning away from most everything but cannabis.  I did take a monster 250 mcg dose of cid one night right after I came out.  It was a very theraputic, eye-opening trip.  I cried for three hours when I was coming down and at the very end of it I knew my real name.  It wasn’t like I thought to myself "what is my name?".  It just popped into my head. "You are Leslie Marie!"  So basically everything extra that I have been making with my new postion (and then some) is being poured into making my body match my soul.  This is very important to me and to my well being.  I almost died years back (2006) from a huge dose of Fentanyl and Xanax.  I lived through it, but no one knew why I made an attempt at my life.  I kept it all inside.  It came to a head again recently (early May) and I was so incredibly close to acquiring a firearm and making the exit for real.  I confided in a close friend and she actually saved my life by making me feel somewhat okay.  I have been building on it and slowly healing.  This is going to be a long and difficult path, but it is all entirely possible.  Thanks for listening!  I will try and post every now and then if anyone is interested in how I am doing.  I am sure some will disagree and that is okay.  Have a good Sunday!

-Leslie Marie