Had a brainstorm on the way home this evening.
I present to you, the humble Kudzu vine.
First imported from Asia in the late 1800’s. Used to prevent soil erosion, kudzu got out of hand and has consumed much of the southeastern US.
Vines can grow up to a foot or more per day, and they can damn near live on rock and dust for sustenance. Tough as hell, too. You can literally kill a patch with fire, and it will still…grow…back. This shit is the T-1000 of the botanical world.
I would not need my surprised look, if the first life on Mars turns out to be a Kudzu patch at the bottom of Vallis Marineris.
…but anyway! Here’s the brilliant part…
…we splice the kudzu DNA into the marijuanas…
…thereby creating a SUPER WEED that is actually SUPER WEED…
…that will grow anywhere, on anything, and will grow faster or tough out efforts to eradicate it on a large scale…I mean really, we can’t even wipe out the regular ol’ kudzu. The Weedzutm should be at least as robust, if not more. I mean fuck, it’s only genetic engineering, we might as well do whatever else we want while were all up in those ribosomes.
Even if we can’t get it growing in the wild, we could run a bigass experimental farm. Make money on carbon credits, superweed fiber, superweed superweed, and not to forget: Weedzutm oil to run all the diesel farm machinery.
…I’m tellin’ ya, this Weedzutm needs to happen. All I need is a genetic engineer of questionable morals, enough lab flunkies to do the actual work, and a Biosafety Level 4 containment facility. Don’t want to wind up like the old USSR facilities, after all…
…who’s with me?
